And I'm only plucking pheasants 'cause the pheasant plucker's late

My main route out of Garrigill as I head to work is the A686 which is a beautiful drive mainly populated by pheasants.
Most of the pheasants you see in the countryside are farmed on the open hills so that once a year very rich people in city Range Rovers can come out into the country wearing plus fours and silly hats and get very drunk while carrying firearms in order to shoot them.
Now pheasant are a big bright coloured bird that fair stand out against the green of the hills and so these people must be pretty bad shots (or pretty drunk) judging by the amount that are left after the shooting season is finished. There are currently so many of them that the ride out becomes a torrent of bird impacts as you try to head for the motorway that leads to where you are going.
Most people think that it's a bad thing to run over a bird, although at times like this you usually have no option as to swerve to miss one will usually pile you into a family group of others, but the point is, you aint supposed to swerve. There are more accidents caused by people in their Mazda MX5 trying to avoid pheasant and so driving into the heavily armoured Land Rover than I would care to count.
I don't understand it, people drive through walls, into tree's and into much bigger cars usually driven by what becomes a very irate farmer (although this may be a standard mood from the ones I have met) lets say an even more irate farmer than usual just to avoid one of thousands of birds that never learned the green cross code.
Run them over people, it gives the foxes something easy to eat at night and in the long run it saves lives. Also they taste pretty good so if you get a plump one on the bumper get out and take it home, you can have a real taste of the country for your dinner.