This is my island in de'sun!

The sun has been so bright lately that even in the day you can see its light reflected on the moon so on the day in the photo above it was sun behind me and moon ahead as I drive down the hill and into the village.

I suppose that this midday moon must be confusing for the werewolves of Garrigill and Alston Moor but we won't see them out because DAMN!!!! it's just too bloody hot when you don't have fur never mind when you do.

There is a lot of waffle in the village about the heat and the weather.  

We have not seen a drop of rain for over three weeks now and that leads to some confusion in the older folk.
This is most sad to see with those who have lived in Garrigill all their lives and who have never known more than a bank holiday back in 1953 when it once didn't rain for more than an hour over the whole of the long weekend.

Umbrella sales in the post office are at an all time low even though the wagons keep bringing them in on a bi-weekly basis and there is a real fear that there could be a downturn in the local economy without the need for shelter, a pair of dry socks and a hot cup of something to bring your insides back to life.

It's true to say that we are not equipped for this, there are no fridges here full of ice cold cans of coke ready to cool the sweating cyclist. There is no freezer full of ice creams and lollipops to quiet the screaming children as they fall panting from the boiling car. You can't purchase 23 different varieties of bottled water in Garrigill because usually all you have to do to get a drink here is look up while yawning.

There really is a very distinct lack of water in the South Tyne. I managed to walk out to the middle of the river today, take a picture and walk back without getting more than the soles of my boots slightly moist. It's now so shallow that you can see the fish swimming up river looking for a cool pool under the bank. There was one trout that even seemed positively happy when Raven did a wee in the water.

Raven however didn't really care because while running around he found Peters goats and the herding instinct took over as he tried to bring them to us one by one.

He enjoyed himself but found it quite frustrating because getting them one by one and leaving them with us means that when he runs off to get the next one the first one sort of wanders away into the bushes to start eating again.

Now I know that dogs can't count, but after delivering six of only four goats in the area (three of whom he may have thought looked very similar) and still finding Kasha and I with none  even Raven started to get a confused and had a worried look in his eye.

Before the poor hound started to invent dog maths Kasha threw a stick into the water and so instead of a possible canine scientific breakthrough we got a happy dog with a stick in his mouth and lots of water everywhere. 

We both got dog showered which considering the heat was quite nice, but it did cause some problems on the walk back into Garrigill, as we walked past dripping and obviously wet many a happy person ran to the door, looked upward holding out a hand waiting for the magic droplet that didn't come.

maybe tomorrow....

No Socks...

Bastille day was celebrated in Alston this weekend, the whole place went French with shopkeepers wearing berets and stripy t-shirts and we had a few public executions some CanCan dancers and someone tried to get a Citroen 2CV6 working.
The 2CV was fun, it turned over with the kind of rumble usually associated with a full choir of concrete mixers but eventually it gave up (with a growl) and had to be towed away by a tractor.
So much for the French contribution to the motor industry.

We celebrated by drinking French wine and having lots of garlic in the food, which may well keep people away but doesn’t seem to put off the midge and the horse fly (known locally as Cleggs)

Over the weekend there have been many meetings of the locals sitting on the tables on the village green. We mocked Dougal for wearing socks with his jesus sandles and when he had enough we mocked him some more because that’s what you have to do when someone wears socks with sandals.

We had a quick run into Alston just to see the festivities and it gave Kasha a chance to use her new camera. I enjoy taking photos too, but even though I had my camera I did feel that taking many pictures of the teenage girls from Alston Dance Group doing the CanCan may not have been politically correct. So all dance photo’s are courtesy of Kasha, I just watched and clapped.

Sunday was the first game of the quiots season with Garrigill at home against the first of the enemy. Large metal rings that could do a great amount of damage were thrown with a variety of styles and a mixed bag of accuracy at two metal stakes in the ground with much applause and lots of beer going on around the event.

Dougal made up for the sock debacle by winning his round, this doesn’t mean the socks will be forgotten though.

 Meanwhile the leaks have developed rust…It would appear that when this happens you wash them with watered down fairy liquid. I need my leeks in good order.

My ambition to win a leek prize has been modified to an ambition to have my leeks do slightly better than Marks because if they don’t I may never hear the last of it.

Loser to wear socks and sandles Mark….

Scary Bankers

I'm in a wonderfully bland hotel room in the middle of Milton Keynes. Yes....this is my bed!
I'm having one of those evenings when I really need to be sleeping, but I am in a bland hotel room in Milton Keynes, and it's my first year anniversary with my girlfriend, and I'm in a bland hotel room in Milton Keynes.

I think you may be getting the overall picture of my current mood.

This morning at 3:30am I set off from the AEON drove past owls and deer on the road and then over a few rabbits. It can't be helped, they bounce around looking for a way out, a solution to the problem of escaping. They go left and right and straight and then suddenly they jump under the car like they have lost the will to live, so don't shout at me, I am not responsible for frustrated rabbits.

I had to be in central London at 9:30 to talk to bankers about Bitcoin and Deep Web. 
This was going to be a bit of a challenge because they were all very clever bankers, exceptional in their field, and their field is money laundering prevention. 
I spent the morning listening to powerpoints about regulations and learning that in the field of money laundering prevention the name for everything is so long that acronyms have to be used because if you didn't and had to pronounce everything the long way you wouldn't get past the first powerpoint slide in the 40 minute allocated slot.

I like learning new things, today I learned about the IMLPO, their relationship with the JMLSG and all about MLD, FCA, FSA and many others. I also learned that while the term BO has a certain meaning in the world of Ethical hacking (because of working with beardy hackers who only change t-shirts once a week) that in the world of banking it means Beneficial Ownership.
I heard how regulations are changing in 2014, after they have done the focus groups, and then changed again in 2016 and that until then there was guidance, but that guidance didn't apply in certain countries that you may be dealing with.
In the end what I actually learned is that it takes so long to do anything that by the time it's done it's out of date and until then do your best.
I also learned that this is a very - VERY serious issue and that all the things that are being done will stop the things that shouldn't be done and that everything will be ok some point soon. Possibly after the focus group has submitted their findings.
In triplicate, edited...

The people I met were very clever, and very frustrated, they thought it couldn't get any worse and then I showed them Deep Web and Bitcoin, and every potential possibility for stopping money laundering went out of the window after one 40 minute presentation. Jaws dropped, breathes were taken deeply and held for a long time.

I felt quite sorry for them. Technology has overtaken banking and the value of a Bitcoin is defined worldwide by what you can buy with it and it's untraceable.

On the way home tomorrow I am going to try and not run over any rabbits, they remind me of money laundering officers jumping around just trying to find a way......

THUMP!